I think my favorite part of being a military wife is the sheer number of times I get the pleasure of visiting the DMV office.
One thing the US of A needs to fix is this military situation. Is that being vague? Okay, on top of eeeeeeverything else - and I mean everything else - all the way down at the very bottom of the totem pole underneath removing the Asbestos in on-base housing but just above fixing the Army's mess dress (navy blue and black, really?), is the situation with the active duty car registration and driver's licenses.
There is a law that to my limited understanding, basically says military can do whatever they want with their driver's licenses and car registration.
Currently in my wallet I have:
1. A Missouri driver's license
2. A Massachusetts liquor license (basically I used it to say I was over 21)
3. A Utah driver's license
I should note I am a resident of New Mexico but my car is registered in Ohio. I am a resident of New Mexico because I just decided to be one and they can't stop you from doing that....because I didn't want to be an Ohio resident (no offense).
I fear the day I get pulled over and I have to explain this situation to the cop.
"Good morning officer." *Hands over 3 licenses* "Just run all these through and whichever one doesn't have an outstanding warrant on it, is me. "
I should also mention that my Utah driver's license is in my maiden name and I changed my name 2 years ago SO...technically speaking, it's not even me.
I decided yesterday was the day, after 2 years, that I was going to go to the DMV and fix this entire situation. I was FULLY prepared. I brought so much paperwork with me it looked like I was buying a house. Every piece of information attached to my name to prove I was not a spy, because judging from my wallet I kind of look like one.
I get to the office at 1:00 and of course - OF COURSE - they are closed for the next hour for lunch. First of all, who eats lunch for an HOUR!? When I worked at the children's hospital, I could eat an entire lunch in 3 minutes flat, WHILE typing a report and answering a phone call.
I texted Chris. His response? "Welcome to the military."
I simmered down my anger. I needed to pace myself.
So I waited a full hour until 2:00 with a group of other miserable human beings.
They finally strolled on in with big gulps in hand, 5 minutes late I might add, and went in the back. We started lining up at the door, because I KNOW you fools who got here after me are going to try to get in front of me and I am not about that passive life.
My heart skipped a beat when I heard the door unlocking from the other side.
Slowly the door was ajar. DMV lady was smart. She knew we were going to rush in like Walmart on black Friday to grab those little deli tickets, so she opened the door just enough to stick her hand out and put it up in the stop sign motion as she braced herself behind the door.
"waaaait."
Like you tell a dog learning to "stay".
"Waaaait." She opened the door and bent over to put the stopper down, still with her hand raised up in the "wait" position. She backed away slowly still with her hand up as the desperate group before her just stared. Drooling.
I didn't dare look around me to see if anyone thought this was as amusing as I did. What if she put her hand down and everyone rushed past me and I missed it!? Eye contact was strong.
She backed up behind her desk and sat down and took one last breath in and closed her eyes- the calm before the storm.
She opened her eyes. "Okay you can come in."
And I shit you not, we just walked in. Kind of like we were part of the respectful military community. Half of me thought it would be a sprint start and I was ready to bound to the front.
I got my ticket and I was so excited because I was second in line. Until she said...
"Military in uniform have first priority."
THE FUCK DID I STAND IN LINE FOR AND WHY DID YOU MAKE ME GET A TICKET IF I'M GOING TO BE LAST IN LINE ANYWAY!?
So I waited. And waited. and waited. Every time they would get to the last uniformed person in line and I moved to the edge of my seat because I would SURELY be next....another one walked in. I was 5 minutes from walking outside and paying people off. $5 to come back in 5 minutes.
And I'm absolutely not complaining about uniformed military having priority. I totally get that they have a job to do and need to get in and out. I was just mad because I was so excited about my ticket and convinced I was going to be second. If I would have known I was going to be there for the better part of my life, I would have brought a bag of goldfish crackers and a cell phone charger. Maybe the Bible for some light reading, or a "how to knit" kit. I could be teaching myself how to code on the computer. Or learning Mandarin Chinese.
Next time I'm bringing my camo-wearing husband with me. I've got the golden ticket!
FINALLY, after literally every single uniformed person on the entire base was seen. It was MY turn. I recognize the DMV job is tough so I put on my best smile and told her that I needed car registration and a driver's license.
I handed over my SS card, my rental house agreement, my Southwest credit card statement, my dog's vaccinations records, my report card from the 2nd grade, my master's degree framed diploma, my proof of health insurance, a recommendation letter from my employer, my Baptism certificate and candle, my husband's deployment orders, a receipt from purchasing my computer, a picture of my very American looking dad drinking a Bud Light, an AT&T cell phone bill, a 10 page print out of my facebook account, my dental records both before and after braces, an ink print of my left foot, a bag of fingernail clippings, and my 2 driver's licenses.
I figured that would be enough to get me a New Mexico driver's license.
"Marriage license."
"What."
"I need your marriage license."
"Oh, I don't have that."
"Okay well your name on your drivers license doesn't match the name on your application."
"But I have my military ID and passport that match it. And everything else."
"Marriage license."
"I don't have that. I have three forms of photo ID, my SS card, my insurance card, and I don't have a twin."
"Okay well your name on your drivers license doesn't match the name on your application."
".....you said that. But that's me in the picture. Oh, I have my birth certificate!"
"Marriage license."
"I still don't have that. I needed my marriage license to get my base ID and my SS card though so by association..."
"Marriage license."
*I stare blankly*
"Are you having a stroke? I don't have my marriage license."
"Marriage license."
She was taunting me and I was NOT going to play into her games.
"Okay.......no driver's license today. Can we do my car registration?"
"We only do those before 2:00."
One thing the US of A needs to fix is this military situation. Is that being vague? Okay, on top of eeeeeeverything else - and I mean everything else - all the way down at the very bottom of the totem pole underneath removing the Asbestos in on-base housing but just above fixing the Army's mess dress (navy blue and black, really?), is the situation with the active duty car registration and driver's licenses.
There is a law that to my limited understanding, basically says military can do whatever they want with their driver's licenses and car registration.
Currently in my wallet I have:
1. A Missouri driver's license
2. A Massachusetts liquor license (basically I used it to say I was over 21)
3. A Utah driver's license
I should note I am a resident of New Mexico but my car is registered in Ohio. I am a resident of New Mexico because I just decided to be one and they can't stop you from doing that....because I didn't want to be an Ohio resident (no offense).
I fear the day I get pulled over and I have to explain this situation to the cop.
"Good morning officer." *Hands over 3 licenses* "Just run all these through and whichever one doesn't have an outstanding warrant on it, is me. "
I should also mention that my Utah driver's license is in my maiden name and I changed my name 2 years ago SO...technically speaking, it's not even me.
I decided yesterday was the day, after 2 years, that I was going to go to the DMV and fix this entire situation. I was FULLY prepared. I brought so much paperwork with me it looked like I was buying a house. Every piece of information attached to my name to prove I was not a spy, because judging from my wallet I kind of look like one.
I get to the office at 1:00 and of course - OF COURSE - they are closed for the next hour for lunch. First of all, who eats lunch for an HOUR!? When I worked at the children's hospital, I could eat an entire lunch in 3 minutes flat, WHILE typing a report and answering a phone call.
I texted Chris. His response? "Welcome to the military."
I simmered down my anger. I needed to pace myself.
So I waited a full hour until 2:00 with a group of other miserable human beings.
They finally strolled on in with big gulps in hand, 5 minutes late I might add, and went in the back. We started lining up at the door, because I KNOW you fools who got here after me are going to try to get in front of me and I am not about that passive life.
My heart skipped a beat when I heard the door unlocking from the other side.
Slowly the door was ajar. DMV lady was smart. She knew we were going to rush in like Walmart on black Friday to grab those little deli tickets, so she opened the door just enough to stick her hand out and put it up in the stop sign motion as she braced herself behind the door.
"waaaait."
Like you tell a dog learning to "stay".
"Waaaait." She opened the door and bent over to put the stopper down, still with her hand raised up in the "wait" position. She backed away slowly still with her hand up as the desperate group before her just stared. Drooling.
I didn't dare look around me to see if anyone thought this was as amusing as I did. What if she put her hand down and everyone rushed past me and I missed it!? Eye contact was strong.
She backed up behind her desk and sat down and took one last breath in and closed her eyes- the calm before the storm.
She opened her eyes. "Okay you can come in."
And I shit you not, we just walked in. Kind of like we were part of the respectful military community. Half of me thought it would be a sprint start and I was ready to bound to the front.
I got my ticket and I was so excited because I was second in line. Until she said...
"Military in uniform have first priority."
THE FUCK DID I STAND IN LINE FOR AND WHY DID YOU MAKE ME GET A TICKET IF I'M GOING TO BE LAST IN LINE ANYWAY!?
So I waited. And waited. and waited. Every time they would get to the last uniformed person in line and I moved to the edge of my seat because I would SURELY be next....another one walked in. I was 5 minutes from walking outside and paying people off. $5 to come back in 5 minutes.
And I'm absolutely not complaining about uniformed military having priority. I totally get that they have a job to do and need to get in and out. I was just mad because I was so excited about my ticket and convinced I was going to be second. If I would have known I was going to be there for the better part of my life, I would have brought a bag of goldfish crackers and a cell phone charger. Maybe the Bible for some light reading, or a "how to knit" kit. I could be teaching myself how to code on the computer. Or learning Mandarin Chinese.
Next time I'm bringing my camo-wearing husband with me. I've got the golden ticket!
FINALLY, after literally every single uniformed person on the entire base was seen. It was MY turn. I recognize the DMV job is tough so I put on my best smile and told her that I needed car registration and a driver's license.
I handed over my SS card, my rental house agreement, my Southwest credit card statement, my dog's vaccinations records, my report card from the 2nd grade, my master's degree framed diploma, my proof of health insurance, a recommendation letter from my employer, my Baptism certificate and candle, my husband's deployment orders, a receipt from purchasing my computer, a picture of my very American looking dad drinking a Bud Light, an AT&T cell phone bill, a 10 page print out of my facebook account, my dental records both before and after braces, an ink print of my left foot, a bag of fingernail clippings, and my 2 driver's licenses.
I figured that would be enough to get me a New Mexico driver's license.
"Marriage license."
"What."
"I need your marriage license."
"Oh, I don't have that."
"Okay well your name on your drivers license doesn't match the name on your application."
"But I have my military ID and passport that match it. And everything else."
"Marriage license."
"I don't have that. I have three forms of photo ID, my SS card, my insurance card, and I don't have a twin."
"Okay well your name on your drivers license doesn't match the name on your application."
".....you said that. But that's me in the picture. Oh, I have my birth certificate!"
"Marriage license."
"I still don't have that. I needed my marriage license to get my base ID and my SS card though so by association..."
"Marriage license."
*I stare blankly*
"Are you having a stroke? I don't have my marriage license."
"Marriage license."
She was taunting me and I was NOT going to play into her games.
"Okay.......no driver's license today. Can we do my car registration?"
"We only do those before 2:00."
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