Skip to main content

How to Impress Triathlete Girls: 101

While I was sprinting down the Esplanade yesterday I started thinking about how different girls can be from each other. I got on this wavelength of thinking because a girl passed me in all pink running gear wearing Gucci sunglasses and carrying an iphone - now THAT is jogging. To her, that was probably cute. To me, that was definitely stupid. Beyond stupid. She needed to get off my running trail, go to the gym, turn on Oprah, get on the elliptical, and continue not sweating.

Ergo, I came up with a list of things that flatter most girls (from girls and guys), and then translated them into things that flatter triathlete girls ( or at least me).

You are so beautiful --> You are so fast
You are so skinny --> Your calf muscles are huge
How do you get your butt to look so good? --> How can I make my quads to look like yours?
I really love your purse --> You have sick components on your bike
Your outfit is so cute today --> Are those the new Zoot racing flats?
Your new iPhone is so nice! --> Your new Garmin Forerunner 405 is so nice!
I am so jealous of your new car--> I am so jealous of your new SRAM components
No honey you don't look fat in that --> How do your leg muscles fit in those skinny jeans?
I really love the way you decorated your room --> ALL those races numbers hanging on the wall are yours!?
You eat so little, it's adorable --> How can you possibly eat so much and not weight 500 lbs?
Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? --> Do you want to come on my tempo run with me?
You are so thoughtful --> I can't believe you pulled the entire ride
You work so hard. You look stressed, let me massage your neck for you --> You run so much, let me do pressure point therapy on the bottom of your feet
I can't believe you drank that much last night and are still alive! --> I can't believe you ran that much yesterday are still alive!
You're do so well in class, can you tutor me? --> You race so hard, can you coach me?
You deserve a weekend vacation, lets go somewhere --> You deserve a weekend race, let's find one
You so great you deserved to get that job! --> You're so fast you deserved to get that sponsorship!
You're so on top of things - Your transitions are ridiculous
I love your mani/pedi - Your calluses are huge! (I got this one from my roommate once. Gross....but I was excited)


love love love,
me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Post a Comment
Read more

Snowbasin 2/9/2013

FINALLY found a badass chica to hit the slopes with! YEAH! Yesterday the visibility was about 0 but it was a solid day at Snowbasin. I took my GoPro along with me and then edited it into a video that looks semi-interesting. That's Kate on the snowboard, the camera is attached to my head so you get a solid look at the fog and me falling a few times. Skiing/Snowboarding Movie
Post a Comment
Read more

Weekend

As promised, here's a blog about my weekend - I know you've been sitting on the edge of your rolly computer chair waiting for it with bated breath. Friday after my guitar class, which went not-so-fabulously, as per usual, Chris and I had a little adventure to Harpoon Brewery where we met up with my ever beloved (and apparently much talked about) bff Dave. It took us a little adventuring and a little guessing to get there but we made it there and home with lots of "I have a hunch this is the way to go"-ing. It convinced me fully that we'd be great on a European back-packing trip together. We don't fight, we don't argue, we don't get frustrated, we just laugh and follow our gut. Which led us to beer! Isn't that what Germany is all about?  Anyway, Harpoon was awesome. You just go, hear about beer, and drink all you want. I picked up a growler of the cider - highly recommended. We literally guessed what bus to get on to get home and turns out it led...
Post a Comment
Read more