The moment you do your first triathlon and you inevitably become addicted to the endurance lifestyle...
-"Working out" is always "training"
-Days you can't find time to workout suddenly are labeled "rest days"...and they are the worst days
-"Bike riding" is always "cycling" or just simply "riding" - no need to explain what you are riding
-"Eating" is almost always "carbo loading" or "refueling"...and it is done in massive amounts with as much PB on everything as possible
-You can never go out and just run...everything comes under one of the following categories: brick, track workout, hill repeats, fartleks, tempo run, recovery run, long runs, or short runs
-Cotton is the devil...so is anything that is not spandex, nylon, sweat wicking, heatgear, or coldgear
-Your drawer is stuffed to the brim with race tech shirts that you can never imagine throwing away because each is like a pet to you and you would be incomplete without it
-The wind is your worst enemy
-You are like a kid on Christmas when you see a P4, Speed Concept, or anything on wheels that has excessive amounts of carbon
-GU is candy, shotblocks are dessert, and you drink Accelerade like it's water
-You scoff when anyone says they are training for a 10k - 6 miles is an easy day's run
-You have a separate bank account entitled "Zipp discs"
-When you're friends want to watch a movie, you agree but under the terms that they won't say anything about you spinning on the trainer... sitting time is wasted time
-You can't imagine spending money on a pair of heels or a nice shirt but will drop $100 without thinking on a pair of racing flats that will last you all of half a season
-You have no idea what the sky looks like past 11 pm but can marvel at the beauty of the sun at 6 am
- Every time you hit the freezing water at a 7 am pitch black race start you absolutely hate the sport and wonder why you do it...then suddenly it all comes back how much you love it somewhere between T1 and the first mile on the bike
- Your dating field becomes very narrow as you suddenly become only interested in people who swim, bike, or run or who are open to the idea of swimming, biking and running
-Massages are no longer a relaxing, soothing, Zen experience with low lights and candles...they are done by physical therapists who make you cry, scream, kick, plead, and walk around like a hunchback the next day
- You find yourself referring to your bike (bikes) by name and sleeping with it (them) by your bed every night
-Multisport/Marathon/Triathlon expos are toy stores and you wait all year for the good ones to come to town
-You fantasize about moving to CO and calling the Lietos, the Halls, the Carefrees, or the Shoemakers the neighbors
-Your nightmares don't include lumberjacks chasing you with axes, monsters in your closets, falling over cliffs or shooting your loved ones...but often are along the lines of getting passed right as you are about to cross the finish line, coming to transition to find your helmet gone, drowning in a mass start, or not being able to move your legs on the run
-Suddenly you find yourself only eating grass fed bison and excessive amounts of Quinoa...oh and pancakes are always made with Muscle Milk
-If you have less than an hour to train it's not even worth putting shoes on...it takes that long to get a satelite signal from your Garmin anyway
Hopefully this gave you a giggle :)
love love love,
me
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