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Happy Thursday!

My OrThOdicS aRe iN!!! Which means I can start training for running...for my race...that is exactly 16 days from today.
This is not a big deal, I can handle this. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain so as long as I'm not absolutely dying I can push through the run if I'm just tired.
...right?
I'm just worried. I'm worried I'm going to get to Texas and realize I undertrained. I'm worried that I've been working my ass off since October to just get down there and suck on the run. I'm worried I won't be fast enough. Or that I'll be disappointed. Or that my team will be disappointed. I just want this so bad and I've worked so hard all semester, barely keeping my head above water. I'm running on no sleep, I live off coffee, I don't even have time to think anymore. Anytime I sit down to just watch a movie I feel guilty because I know I should be doing homework or training or going to the Lab...it sucks living like this, I don't see how people do it for years of their life.

Another thing that happened this week is I realized I can't do the summer RA thing...which means I'll be rooming with my teammate Colin over break. I'm very excited, but apprehensive at the same time. I can't think of two people who are more opposite than me and Colin - should be interesting. But the good news is we are EXTREMELY competitive with each other, so I know he'll keep my head on straight when it comes to studying and training. And probably give me a few good laughs too....either that or I'll piss him off to no end when I come in wasted at 3 in the morning and scream "EEARRRTTHHHQUAAAKEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" and jump on his bed =)
As least he'll bake for me. Maybe even do my laundry, though I don't know how I feel about him folding my Victoria Secret apparel.

So besides all that and not eating butter blocks in the dining hall, things are going well. It's been raining again and I'm beginning to think I'll never see the sun again. My room smells awesome from the rain *cough*not*cough*. Good thing I spent $12,000 on housing just to have it LEAK. When I said I wanted an indoor pool, this is not exactly what I had in mind.

Capstone is going...well, it's going. I'm completely in love with my group, which is good. It's amazing how fast you can get close to people. I think we're ACTUALLY going to be able to pull off this 50+ page research paper on China currency policy. Dayum.

I still haven't fixed my drawer...so there are still 5 chunks of random wood in the middle of my room. WIth nails. That I keep stepping on. Small reminders to think before I act.

love love love,
me

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