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Save the balloons, Get Me New Tubes. Or Zoot Shoes.

Doing homework in the dining hall I tuned Nicole's (The saint who makes my omelets) conversation with another dining hall worker:

"I've been married to the same damn man for 26 years. Cut the crap. I don't need yo chocolate. I don't need yo balloons. I don't need yo cards. Get me some power tools. I need a damn saw."

Kudos to this woman. I feel the same way. I HATE when people give me chocolate and candy. You KNOW I won't eat it. I'll regift it, give it to B, or it'll just sit and stale on my shelf. I mean unless you bought it for me so I give it back to you so you can eat it. You sly dog.
Or when my mom gives me spa kits as presents. She does this almost every year - think she's hinting at something? What the hell am I going to do with aloe gel socks when my calluses are too thick for it to even penetrate to my throbbing muscles? And the last time I tried to trim my nail buds resulted in layers of gauze and a trash can full of bloody tissues.
Okay, yes I love flowers. Love love love them. But one lilly will do. I hate those over the top, HUGE bouquet of carnations complete with pears, birds, and ribbons. I don't want an entire ecosystem, but something pretty to put on my desk.
And teddy bears are fluffy, but honestly I sleep with the same old dog I've had since I was five. And a chubby bear holding a heart that says, "I love you beary much!" Is not going to change that. It'll probably end up a dog toy...for the dog I no longer have (tear).
I loath Hallmark cards. Especially the ones with sparkles and bows and the puppies. And the ones that sing? They make me want to chop my ears off. My dad accidently got my mom the same card two years in a row once - good one Mark - he claimed it was so nice, he bought it twice. LIES. I have a suspicion he now buys his cards in bulk and keeps them in the back of his closet and pulls them out when needed, just to make sure that doesn't happen again.
I really love home made cards or a just a note, even if its just stick figures drawn in pencil on a piece of looseleaf - which, more often than not, it is. I have really creative and artistic friends.
Hmmm. I sound cynical. I think the older I get the more I'm realizing holidays are just overrated. And so are presents. It's just a huge industry built on hyping up the event so everyone goes all out and stimulates the economy, then on the day its like...well, I still have to go to work and do the dishes and visit the eight different extended families I have. And everything just ends up being one huge stress-fest.
I like how my parents handle it. I don't think they ever buy each other presents, because they don't need to. Whenever my parents one something, they just buy it. So for holidays they just tell each other how much they love each other and then go do something outdoorsy - like hike 7 14,000 foot mountains. It's no stress, no anxiety, and they are never disappointed.

So here's to making holidays simple and stress free :)
...And wishing the bubonic plague upon all the couples who are in love on Valentine's day ;)...kidding.

love love love,
me

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