K Capacity

In nature, if there are unlimited resources, no disease and no predation, an organism's population will grow at an exponential rate until the resources run out. At this point the growth rate levels off and the death/birth rate are equal, so the population density remains constant, also known as the "K", or carrying capacity.

On February tenth, 2010, I've reach my (ironically enough) "K" level.

This entire day has been nothing but a series of crashes and burns, starting off with this angry Russian man burning my omelette - where the HELL was Nicole this morning?

The ONLY, and I mean only, upside to my day was being the only person in my phonetics class to get a 100% on my last test, but damn straight I earned that damn A.

I had an 8 am class, 10 am volunteer study lounge hours, 11 am class, and a noon class. I went straight to finish off my study lounge hours until 2, only finding out BU cancelled class.

YES!! BANK!! I LOVE WHEN CLASS IS CANCELLED!!!

Oh. Wait. I already HAD my three classes and two volunteer hours. It did nothing for me.

Okay. Fine. Lunch time.

Okay not so much. I had chicken. Not the grilled chicken with ketchup that I like, but rotisserie chicken - the kind on the bone.

Actually no, I'm pretty sure the only thing it lacked was feathers and a head. After picking at it I pulled the rib cage and did performed a spinal stenosis.

After realizing I looked like a vulture and others in the dining hall probably wouldn't appreciate me putting my Discovery Health knowledge into practice, I moved onto yogrola. I am NEVER disappointed with yogrola.

I take that back. I am never disappointed with yogrola that doesn't taste like cottage cheese, olives, and croutons.

Moving on to sweet potatoes - or yams? It's the new word I learned today.

That didn't work either, I'm pretty sure it was Gerber baby food. (BTW, what happened to those commercials? I used to love those...)

Exhausted and frustrated, I made a huge PBJ with Raisins, grabbed a cup of granola and headed up stairs.

So then I'm doing work and I get a phone call from my dad. My dad NEVER calls me, it's my mom who calls me then she puts dad on the phone and he says two words to me, says he loves me and hangs up. So whenever I see his number, I'm a little skeptical.

He starts with asking me how I'm doing and what I'm up to and how the lab is and how B is but you know when you have that feeling that they're just beating around the bush? That he really doesn't care that much about the shoebox I live in or that my coffee is burnt or that shoes are wet from the falling slush....anyway, he was dragging his words and kept pausing awkwardly.

To put it bluntly, my dog suffered from liver failure today and had to be put down.

My dog...the one that grew up with me and was there for me through every break up, every bad test grade, and every death. My dog that I got because I couldn't sell GirlScout Cookies.

The dog that attacked the blinds, mops, vacuums, other dogs, small children, trash bags, doorbells, and my giant stuffed, neighing horse. My dog was the reason we got rid of my guinea pigs, my cat, and both my birds. My dog that attacked and ate my first bird...in front of me. My dog that tolerated me shaving him like Clydesdale horses, a poodles, and ROTC men's haircuts. My dog that never once ran away, even when we left the back door open. My dog that absolutely threw a shit fit when anywhere near a bathtub and could walk on his hind legs. My dog that once bit my sister's toenail off and attacked my grandmother's feet. He's gone now and I never got to say goodbye.

And then I find out my family is going to be a lot tighter this year, as in a lot tighter. As in hey, Kate, I know you've been working your ass off to make nationals for the past year but...you probably won't be able to go. And on top of that you either need to stay in Boston for SB or help pay for your $300 flight home.

Okay, it wasn't worded like that at all...but that's what it felt like. I could never ask my parents for more than what they've given me, and right now? Looks like my newest task will be attempting to hold down a job on top of volunteering, working at the lab, triathlon team, Dean's host, and classes. I can feel the caffeine saturating my blood as we speak.

Oh and goodbye social life, it was nice having you around, but consider yourself evicted.

Oh...and then my bed riser broke and my bed crashed down onto the floor.

And my bike needs new tires. And it's slushing out. And I didn't train today. And I have to get up at 6:45.

K capacity? Reached.

Praying I'll somehow get through this,

love love love,

me