I have increasing anxiety about my career choice, or lack thereof. I apologize for just throwing that out there without any cute opening about dogs or knee problems, but I can't think of any other way to say it. When, okay if, I do, or choose to, grow up and settle down (Like that's ever going to happen) there is a very small chance I will actually stick to one path. I'm too fickle. You see how picky I am about my running shoes, and they only go on my feet. Imagine how I'm going to be in six years.
When I turned twenty I had a very small anxiety attack. In a sad attempt to comfort me, a friend said, "Just think Katie! In the next ten years you'll have a career, a house, probably a husband, maybe a kid..." Just hearing that made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, in fact I think I did. Needless to say that was the last time I went to that friend for comfort.
I've always been the type of girl that gets what she wants. Not because it's been handed to me, mommy and daddy can vouch for that one, but because I'm not scared to work for it. When I wanted a car, I worked almost everyday for two years and bought a car. When I wanted a horse, I saved up every penny so I could pay for half and worked at the barn for free board. When I wanted to go to BU, I worked for the grades and that convinced my parents to take care of the tuition. I get my mind wrapped around concepts and I don't stop until it's mine, that's just how I've always been. Either that or I just don't ask, I do (one way to drive mom crazy.)
But in this case I have no idea what I want. And nothing scares me more. I'm leading the blind here.
I think the first career choice I had was a professional equestrian. That was shot out the window when I was informed no, my parents do not have $500,000 a year to spend on me shipping my horse all around the country to show. Okay, no big deal, you don't make any money anyway. Next I wanted to be a veterinarian. But then I realized I would only want to deal with the happy stories where the animal goes home, in no way, shape or form could I ever put a dog down, or even a cat for that matter. Okay so '86 that idea.
Then I went to space camp..twice. That's it! I am definitely the next Neil Armstrong. For sure. Then it hit me. I hate math. I'm hate physics. And moon rocks suck. Nope.
Okay so then what? I went through lawyer, but only because my mother told me I was the most argumentative person she knows. I went from reporter to public relations to psychology. But nothing fit.
It all came down to me having a breakdown in a movie theater while watching Where the Wild Things Are. Yup. In the middle of the movie I couldn't stop crying, I walked out, called my sister and had a life changing discussion right there in the middle of Fenway 20 Cine. The next day I schedule four appointments, got out of my academic track, and enrolled myself into Sargent. Talk about taking matters into my own hands.
Current status? Audiology. Yes, like my sister. You could say I'm following in her footsteps, but I would prefer not to. Am I positive this is the right path for me? Well, no. But who ever really knows if they're doing the right thing? And who dictates what is right and wrong? I do like the work. I like the concept of Cochlear implants. I definitely want to learn sign language. And I feel like my ultimate calling is to do anything that involves kids, and I can do that with this. If I own my own practice I can work around my own hours, which revolve around training for the Ironman, duh, and it's a growing industry (Thank you iPod!). And once I gave my science classes a chance I actually really liked them, unlike my philosophy class - bind and gag me.
So there you go. I think I'm going to go for it. Dr. Weller has a nice ring to it anyway.
And who really knows? Halfway through graduate school I might say screw it, hop on Dr. Jones, train my ass off and become a pro triathlete. Always something to fall back on.
Love love love,
me
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