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Least Sexy.

Inspired by some recent observations...my personal list of Least Sexy things on a Guy.

10. Excessive tattoos. Sir, I guarantee your white ass self is not from South America or Africa. So what's with the tribal tattoos all over your arms? And when you're 70 do you REALLY want a red skull on your tricep? Didn't think so.
9. Jeans with New Balance Tennis shoes. Who came up with the fashion faux pas? Besides the captain of the chemistry team...which, in itself, can be sexy. Unless he is wearing New Balance tennis shoes with jeans.
8. Tube socks. Basketball is no exception.
7. Skinny Jeans...were made for women with no asses and skinny calves. Unless you smoke cigarettes and have a fixed gear, lay off the skinny jeans...especially black ones.
6. Murses/messenger bags. Be a man, carry your books. While you're at it, carry my books.
5. Excessive cussing. One, maybe two words in a conversation is badass and attractive. But dropping F bombs every other word? Makes me think you're just buying time to think of the next dumb-ass thing to say.
4. Shorter than average shorts. Unless you are wearing a spandex kit (which, as a Triathlete and cyclist...I loveeeee :) keep your shorts at an average length - at the knee or MAYBE an inch above.
3. Jean shorts (Jorts?) Enough said. Burn them.
2. Hanging Mouths. I'm not sure how to explain this one but in a recent conversation with a guy I noticed he never fully closed his mouth. After he said anything he let it hang open like his jaw was broken. Or maybe he went temporarily retarded? It was a shame, I thought he was cute before that...now he just reminds me of a dead fish.

Anddd my number one?

1. Briefs. I hate briefs. Briefs of all kinds. I literally cringe when I see them and any sort of attractiveness you may have held commits suicide. Unless you are the five year old I babysit (and his briefs have rocketships on them..which is adorable.) throw away the briefs. Gag.

Anyway. Learn from this.
Love love love,
me

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