Love the Life you Live, Live the Life you Love

I have some anxiety I need help with. It's not so much graduation...I feel like I took everything that BU could offer me and ran with it (literally...ran...many miles.) I feel like I'm ready to be done with college but it's kind of the 'after' part thats bugging me. I'm not thinking long term here because I know I'll be in grad school next year and even if I'm not I know long term I'll be just fine, wherever I end up, but it's that thing called summer that's making me anxious. I know my only option is to get a job somewhere. But where? Do I really want to move back to STL? I honestly feel like there's nothing left there for me except my mom, dad and 2 brothers. My sister lives in Florida, my boyfriend will be in Massachusetts, my best friends and everyone I care about is spread all over the country...Massachusetts, California, New York, Texas, DC...and I don't even have a job that I would want to get. What can I really get into for 3 ...

For the past 3 years while here in Boston I've lived pretty damn well, shamelessly spending cash here and there, mostly on new triathlon gear but pretty much on everything else that catches my eye. I go out to eat almost every week, hit up the bars every other Friday or so, and often treat myself to coffee on Newbury and those awesomely functional running shorts I've had my eye on for all of 5 minutes. I spend about $800/year on race entry fees alone, including marathons, half marathons, triathlons, 5ks, 10ks, and indoor time trials. I didn't think twice when I bought a $100 bike fit, a $300 GoPro camera, 3 new pairs of running shoes, an almost $200 North Face zip-up, a new computer, a new phone, a $150 cycling rain jacket, an Osprey pack for overnight backpacking trips, new tires for Mac, and about 100 other little things I absolutely could not function without. And don't even get me started on how much I've spent at Sunset Cantina on their margaritas and nachos. S...

Senioritis: It comes on slowly and infiltrates the system. The past 3 years I've been nothing but prolific in my studies...however the past 3 weeks? Well, lets just say I had an exam today that I started studying for...today. This morning actually. While I was eating lunch. Then I studied a bit in the classroom right before the exam while simultaneously reading an article about how Contador blood doped during the 2010 Tour. So...study? Or read about how Andy Schleck, 2nd love of my life, is now the 2010 Tour champion? Study...Andy....Study...Andy.... Schleck me! The GOOD news is I'll already be accepted (or denied - yeesh, scary thought) from my grad schools by the time grades come out. As they say in baseball.....SAFE!

All that running over Christmas break sure has paid off! Today I had an amazing 9 mile run around the Charles averaging 7:40 minutes/miles. I'm pretty sure that's the longest I've ever held that pace. It feels so good to have worked to so hard for something and see the results. I never thought I'd say it but running has honestly become my favorite thing to do in the world. When I first started triathlon I absolutely hated running more than anything because it was just. so. hard. Every step I took shocked my body into discomfort. And I was always injured! Between knee problems, hip problems, shin splints galore, sprained ankles, strained feet...I was visiting the physical therapist with a new ailment every month. One PT even had the nerve to ask me if I "had to run." because apparently my body just wasn't built for it. That absolutely broke my heart. I think that day I decided no matter how painful it was or how injured I got, I had to keep running. And hop...

The bad news is last night Chris and I had our last undergraduate military ball, the good news is I got to wear my prom dress from highschool again! The ball was a blast - an absolute perfect night filled with good food, good people, and great dancing. Oh, I also realized I AM my mother, upon arriving at our room at the hotel I made him switch within 5 minutes. Brings back memories of the Royal Inn in Georgia and my mom making our family change rooms no less than 3 times...like mother, like daughter.

Today went from a bad day to the best day ever! Chris surprised me and took me to Guitar Center and let me pick out my first guitar! So here she is. She's an Ibanez Zebrawood acoustic guitar and her name is Leopard (Pronounced Lay-o-pard...like the racing team Leopard-Trek) She's simply stunning and I think we'll do great things together.

So this semester I've been spending a lot of time getting excited about graduating from BU and getting out of the city and the northeast in general. I've gotten so wrapped up in the excitement of moving on that I think I've lost sight of all the things I'm going to miss - like the everyday mundane things that make my life at BU awesome. I'm going to miss Saturday mornings hanging out in the suite with my roomies - some of the single best girls in the world. I'm going to miss hearing the Law and Order "DUM DUM" every 2 seconds because Iz hasn't seen all billion episodes and watches it non stop. I'm going to miss hearing 3 different languages echoing through our hallways at any point in time. I'm even going to miss how I can tell which suitee is coming through the door based on how they open it and their footsteps. I'm going to miss spinning in my suite while Nazli, Iz and Diana meander in and out and laugh at how ridiculous I look. I al...