Love the Life you Live, Live the Life you Love

This week was definitely the week that God put me on his hit list. Anything that could have gone wrong, did. Literally. The people that I thought I could depend upon most ended up being the people causing me the most pain. The person I thought things were completely over with suddenly proved me, yet again this week, to be wrong. The test I thought I completely dominated ended up raping me. The event I thought went without a hitch apparently was "unorganized, unprofessional, and a complete mess." I should be getting sleep and resting up for the marathon this weekend but my body doesn't seem to want me to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night and on top of everything else, my shins are killing me. Honestly, this is completely unbelievable. And I know it could be worse, it could be a lot worse. Like I could have herpes. That would suck. I know that other people are going through a lot worse time than me right now and I should be thankful I have Ally, Anya, and Brit to get m...

There are certain songs you come across in life that brings you back to an exact moment. Or an exact feeling. Or, in the best cases, an exact person. It's kind of like a rush of feeling in the pit of your stomach or the lump in your throat, in the saddest of experiences. They can make you smile, make you laugh, or make you cry.  We're driving down a road and our song is playing against the background noise of the engine hum. My hand is laced in yours resting comfortably on your knee. My eyes are closed but I know you glance over to me every few minutes. The car is slightly chilled, as we just started home from our date but the sun's heat warms my right arm. I'm not paying attention to the music because all I can hear is your voice singing me back into my nap, and I drift off, never feeling so content or happy.  It's not that I miss the exact moment, or even the exact person. But I miss the exact feeling. This song brings me back to a feeling: a feeling of pure, inno...

There's this boy in my Psych class, let's call him Larry. Larry because I think that name has a significant amount of annoyance already attached to it and also because I don't know the kid's name. But I do know his voice. I would know his voice if I were chained up and blinded folded in communist China. He would say something and I would say, "Fuck. Larry's here."  Anyway, back to this kid. Actually, no, not kid. We're going to call him a little eager beaver.  Can I just say, Larry, with all your respect, I do not pay $50,00o dollars and wake up at 8 am to hear your unintelligible commentary during my lecture? Not that I don't think the Professor completely appreciates your 2 cents- no, scratch that-20 dollars and 2 cents, worth of useless annotations, usually having nothing to do with subject, but honestly, if I have to hear you say, "This kind of has to do with..." or "An example of this would be..." one more time, I'm goi...

-Sometimes I eat two desserts. Most times I eat two desserts. Sometimes I lie and say I didn't. Most times I lie and say I didn't. -I miss my brothers more than I could probably express and I get so mad at my older brother when he doesn't say hi to me or call me or check up on me. It means the world to me when he texts me and I wish I could tell him. -I'm OCD when it comes to cleaning. I clean my room at least once a day. -I feel absolutely worthless if I don't work out -I heard some one call another girl a dyke today and I've never been so pissed off in my life. The word is disgusting, unnecessary, rude, and should never be used. -I doodle ridiculously in my notebook and got yelled at once by my professor...I still doodle. -I wish I could be a wedding planner and be satisfied with myself just doing that, but I know my mom would be disappointed I didn't do something "professional" with my life. -Nerdy is sexy. -I started doing my hair differently n...

Is it bad I'm almost excited for class to start tomorrow? Granted, my first class isn't until 12:30 and it's ballet (I didn't mention to my dad he's paying $50,000/year for me to be Miss Twinkle Toes), but all in all, I'm kind of tired of losing brain cells and decreasing my GPA with nights of Gossip Girl and painting toe nails. I full-heartedly admit I'm nerdy and actually like getting assignments finished and going to lecture. Judge if you must, but then again you're the one reading this...so don't be too harsh. The past two non-working days have been nothing short of "phenomenal" as Brit would say. I didn't even realize the extend of how much I missed Boston until I actually got here. I even appreciated the people I'm not particularly close to, or even know their names, but their faces make BU home and I love seeing people I completely forgot about.  Okay this is a serious writing block, what is my problem. I think I lost my edge...

Three days, three days! Three days until I finally get to return home to my beloved Boston. Saint Louis has never seemed so dull, though the weather was oddly nice today. Last night I went on a platonic date with my friend, Sean, and it was probably the best night of break. Partly because he's just as stubborn as I am, which never leads to a boring time, he knows all the words to all the Backstreet boys songs, and partly because we went ice skating...world's best recreational activity. I think last night made me realize how much I need to branch out and date more, rather than be caught up in monogamy - I tend to do that.  I have found that a person can be happy in more than one situation and I have also come to find that there are multiple decisions which lead to happiness, maybe different levels of happiness ranging from content to bursting, but all in all, or maybe it's just me, there is never truly one right option.  I think I started to realize this in my college search...

Word on the pavement is that I run the wrong way. I suppose I should have realized that when I felt stabbing pains in my shins that basically felt like my bone is being cut down the middle. I bought these ridiculous wrap things that really do nothing, but I continue to wear them because they keep my calves warm.  I'm supposed to be in training for a half marathon in February but I'm not really sure how that's all going to work out considering I have to completely change my form. I went running with Ian today and he attempted to change my body. I've never felt so ridiculous in my life. Hips forward, shoulders back, point your toes, and bend your knees. What am I, a gazelle? In addition to the extra spandex, I also have to ice bath my legs. But instead of filling a tub of ice, my mom came up with the ridiculous idea of putting my legs in our pond instead. So yesterday after my run I sat outside for 20 minutes in 30 degree weather with my legs in water so cold I had to bre...