This is for a certain girl in Boston who understands another certain girl =)
A friend and I were in one of those really great conversations where you get so excited to say everything on your mind you both start jumping up and down and screaming. Then I realized we were both screaming in the middle of West Campus Dining hall and that's mildly embarrassing, though not entirely uncommon. I've done worse...like Marathon Monday last year when I ate all the icing and m&ms in the dessert area...angry Asians are the worst Asians.
Or the time Al Anya B and I spent 3 hours at Sunday brunch still drunk, making asses of ourselves as we knocked over chairs, spun in circles, and laughed so hard we cried...then all pretty much passed out at the table.
Or when B dropped an entire stack of plates in the middle of dinner rush, screamed, " I CAN"T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE!" and left me to deal with it. Everyone thought I dropped the plates. I did not drop the plates. I have never dropped plates. B has dropped plates multiple times.
Right so anyway, we were talking about the steps of realizing you have a crush - and it's actually pretty much universal.
So you meet the guy, he strikes your interest - or at least you're intrigued on some level. Either:
1. You think he has pretty eyes, or a really nice smile, or a really cute laugh.
2. You notice something quirky about him that imprints him in your memory, like how he walks with a certain, ummm...swagger. I know I can't pull off the word swagger, but you know what I mean.
3. Or you absolutely hate his guts and you think he's the scum of the Earth and an asshole and he makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up just by thinking of him because he is so. freaking. obnoxious.
So then you see him again on campus or wherever, you know exactly who he is but you pretend to semi-forget his name
1. You don't say hi and pretend you totally aren't checking him out of the corner of your eye
2. You do say hi and completely act cool like nothing is phasing you'
3. You smile and say hi, no conversation. But then the rest of the day you can only think about witty little things you COULD have said to him.
Now that you've met a second time it's socially acceptable to ask for his friendship on facebook.
1. You request his friendship
2. You check your Fb every 30 seconds to see if he confirmed
3. Immediately upon confirmation you click "info" and check "relationship status"
--> Single? BANKKK!!
--> Taken? I love a good competition.
--> Not shown? WTF. BASTARD PUT ME ON LIMITED PROFILE!
4. You facebook stalk the shit out of him all night instead of studying for your exam the next morning You find out he has 2 brothers, a dog named Lilly, he looks like his dad, and spent his Christmas vacation at his cousin's house in Florida. You find out what high school he went to, he played Varsity baseball, and his best friend's name. You check if he's had a girlfriend in the past 2 months and what his major is. You scour his info section and look for anything that you even remotely have in common: movies, music, activities, quotes, etc.
Then you find baby pictures of him online and decide your kids would be freaking adorable. <----- this is only in severe cases.
***Note: Even when you two are married with four kids, a minivan, and a house in the country...NEVER EVEN HINT TO HIM THAT YOU DID THIS.
Then you see him again and make small talk, notice other endearing factors about him. Like how his pencil has chew marks or his socks don't match.
After this second encounter you start looking for him on campus, EVERYWHERE. ***Side Note: there's a huge difference between stalking and being.."aware of your surroundings." You're not going out of your way to find him, but it'd be nice if he wandered into the GSU and even if he doesn't say hi, you smile knowing you got to see him today...and even that is enough to quick your heart rate a bit. "You go to sleep. You wake up. He doesn't know. You're not in love. You're not obsessed. You blame it on the fact that you just need to "get some," but still, it's about more than that....It would just be nice if once in your life, things worked out the way you wanted them to."
And that's that, once you start the whole, "Maybe I'll see him today..." deal, consider yourself bitten. Now get OFF your ASS and send him a flirty message, you go girl ;)
xoxo,
k
PS. Which leads me to one of my favorite columns:
http://www.holliesquotes.com/lovemisc/doesntknow.htm
A friend and I were in one of those really great conversations where you get so excited to say everything on your mind you both start jumping up and down and screaming. Then I realized we were both screaming in the middle of West Campus Dining hall and that's mildly embarrassing, though not entirely uncommon. I've done worse...like Marathon Monday last year when I ate all the icing and m&ms in the dessert area...angry Asians are the worst Asians.
Or the time Al Anya B and I spent 3 hours at Sunday brunch still drunk, making asses of ourselves as we knocked over chairs, spun in circles, and laughed so hard we cried...then all pretty much passed out at the table.
Or when B dropped an entire stack of plates in the middle of dinner rush, screamed, " I CAN"T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE!" and left me to deal with it. Everyone thought I dropped the plates. I did not drop the plates. I have never dropped plates. B has dropped plates multiple times.
Right so anyway, we were talking about the steps of realizing you have a crush - and it's actually pretty much universal.
So you meet the guy, he strikes your interest - or at least you're intrigued on some level. Either:
1. You think he has pretty eyes, or a really nice smile, or a really cute laugh.
2. You notice something quirky about him that imprints him in your memory, like how he walks with a certain, ummm...swagger. I know I can't pull off the word swagger, but you know what I mean.
3. Or you absolutely hate his guts and you think he's the scum of the Earth and an asshole and he makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up just by thinking of him because he is so. freaking. obnoxious.
So then you see him again on campus or wherever, you know exactly who he is but you pretend to semi-forget his name
1. You don't say hi and pretend you totally aren't checking him out of the corner of your eye
2. You do say hi and completely act cool like nothing is phasing you'
3. You smile and say hi, no conversation. But then the rest of the day you can only think about witty little things you COULD have said to him.
Now that you've met a second time it's socially acceptable to ask for his friendship on facebook.
1. You request his friendship
2. You check your Fb every 30 seconds to see if he confirmed
3. Immediately upon confirmation you click "info" and check "relationship status"
--> Single? BANKKK!!
--> Taken? I love a good competition.
--> Not shown? WTF. BASTARD PUT ME ON LIMITED PROFILE!
4. You facebook stalk the shit out of him all night instead of studying for your exam the next morning You find out he has 2 brothers, a dog named Lilly, he looks like his dad, and spent his Christmas vacation at his cousin's house in Florida. You find out what high school he went to, he played Varsity baseball, and his best friend's name. You check if he's had a girlfriend in the past 2 months and what his major is. You scour his info section and look for anything that you even remotely have in common: movies, music, activities, quotes, etc.
Then you find baby pictures of him online and decide your kids would be freaking adorable. <----- this is only in severe cases.
***Note: Even when you two are married with four kids, a minivan, and a house in the country...NEVER EVEN HINT TO HIM THAT YOU DID THIS.
Then you see him again and make small talk, notice other endearing factors about him. Like how his pencil has chew marks or his socks don't match.
After this second encounter you start looking for him on campus, EVERYWHERE. ***Side Note: there's a huge difference between stalking and being.."aware of your surroundings." You're not going out of your way to find him, but it'd be nice if he wandered into the GSU and even if he doesn't say hi, you smile knowing you got to see him today...and even that is enough to quick your heart rate a bit. "You go to sleep. You wake up. He doesn't know. You're not in love. You're not obsessed. You blame it on the fact that you just need to "get some," but still, it's about more than that....It would just be nice if once in your life, things worked out the way you wanted them to."
And that's that, once you start the whole, "Maybe I'll see him today..." deal, consider yourself bitten. Now get OFF your ASS and send him a flirty message, you go girl ;)
xoxo,
k
PS. Which leads me to one of my favorite columns:
http://www.holliesquotes.com/lovemisc/doesntknow.htm
Comments
Post a Comment